I have chronic injuries.  There, I said it.  (Well, technically, I typed it.). I suffer from chronic injuries that impact my ability to function.  While they start as physical ailments, they ALWAYS lead to emotional distress.  If you suffer from anything chronic, then I am truly sorry.  It sucks. (Warning, I am going to say it sucks a lot!!!  This is only to keep from swearing.)

I have three injuries that seem to rotate on a regular basis.  My first chronic injury was diagnosed in 2010.  I have a bulging disc at the base of my spine.  The second injury was diagnosed in 2013.  I have severe arthritis in my left knee.  The third injury was diagnosed in 2017, I have a labral tear in my left hip.   All three injuries are severe enough that they can limit my daily functioning, while not being severe enough to require surgery.  Which sucks as well.  

As I write this, I am sitting with a heating pad on my back. My bulging disc decided to have a flare up last month.  My problem disc is between L5 and S1, if you are familiar with the spine.  What this means is that the only position that provides any type of relief is doing Up Dog.  (The photo for this post is the Up Dog position) That is not a position that can be done easily.  So, I have a yoga mat at my desk at work and will sneak into an empty conference room every two hours to do up dog for 10 minutes.   …which sucks!  I also go to physical therapy twice a week to help with pain management and to strengthen my spine and supporting muscles.  I HIGHLY recommend using a physical therapist for chronic injuries, if it is in your budget.  Oh, remember that I had bariatric surgery?  Well, part of that means that I can’t take anti-inflammatory medicine. Yup.  No ibuprofen for me!   And acetaminophen does nothing for my pain.  It sucks!  The only thing other than up dog that provides pain relief is ice.  My physical therapist recommended a really cool ice pack that provides a lot of relief.  “But Sarah, you said you were sitting with a heating pad on your back?”  Yes, I am.  At physical therapy this week, I pulled a supporting muscle in my back. Truly, this sucks.  So, right now, I have a bulging disc that makes it hard to stand and a pulled muscle that makes it hard to walk.  Again, let me say, this sucks!  And, my emotions are not in a good place because of it.

Now, I seem to have a bad flare up from one of my injuries every 9-12 months.  It messes up my training plan and my goal race.  Right now, I can only run 2 miles or less.  And, I dropped down from my goal race in April.  But, I know that I will get back to my  version of normal, it will just take some dedication to healing.

I know I am complaining…a lot.  Yes, I am.  Remember, this sucks.  I am tired of having an injury that limits what I can do.  I am tired of having to hold back during a workout because I’m fearful of making it worse.  I’m tired of explaining to people why I am doing a short workout.  The hardest part for me is accepting that this is my reality. Accepting that I can't always control what happens with my body.

One of the influencers that I following on Instagram has chronic injuries.  I am always impressed by how she pushes through even when she has her flare ups. It  took me a while to realize that my  situation is not that dissimilar from hers.  While our conditions are not the same, the impact on our lives is. So, if you are suffering from chronic injuries, I want to speak to you.  You are not alone.  It is okay to say it sucks (or more negative words if that is your preference).   It is okay to get mad.  It is okay to be angry.  But, it is not okay to hide from your truth.  Find a way to make it work.  Find a way to come to terms with it.  (And, I am speaking to myself on this as well). If it is chronic, it will never fully go away.  Instead of living in fear of it coming back.  Live in celebration of what you can do every single today.  Today you can’t go for a run?  Okay, then celebrate that you can try a walk down the road. Find something to celebrate. Focusing on negatives will only keep you in a negative mind frame.  Choose to focus on the positive each day.  You have a choice every day.  You can choose to let your chronic injury control you.  Or you can choose to control your life, even with your chronic injury.  For the past few weeks, I have let my back control my attitude and control my life. That stops today.  I get to choose how I react.  Yes, there will be pain.  Yes, there will be days that I don't want to move.  Yes, I will have frustrating moments.  I can't change that.  I can change how I react to it.

Back to my whining.  Yes, it still sucks.  But, I am going to focus on the positives for today.  Today I was able to accomplish 75% of my workout.  Last week, I had so much pain that I completely skipped it. I am going to embrace what I did today. I am going to embrace that I got up and went to the gym.   If you have chronic injuries, what are you going to embrace today?