Chronic Injuries Suck

I have chronic injuries.  There, I said it.  (Well, technically, I typed it.). I suffer from chronic injuries that impact my ability to function.  While they start as physical ailments, they ALWAYS lead to emotional distress.  If you suffer from anything chronic, then I am truly sorry.  It sucks. (Warning, I am going to say it sucks a lot!!!  This is only to keep from swearing.)

 

I have three injuries that seem to rotate on a regular basis.  My first chronic injury was diagnosed in 2010.  I have a bulging disc at the base of my spine.  The second injury was diagnosed in 2013.  I have severe arthritis in my left knee.  The third injury was diagnosed in 2017, I have a labral tear in my left hip.   All three injuries are severe enough that they can limit my daily functioning, while not being severe enough to require surgery.  Which sucks as well.  

 

As I write this, I am sitting with a heating pad on my back. My bulging disc decided to have a flare up last month.  My problem disc is between L5 and S1, if you are familiar with the spine.  What this means is that the only position that provides any type of relief is doing Up Dog.  (The photo for this post is the Up Dog position) That is not a position that can be done easily.  So, I have a yoga mat at my desk at work and will sneak into an empty conference room every two hours to do up dog for 10 minutes.   …which sucks!  I also go to physical therapy twice a week to help with pain management and to strengthen my spine and supporting muscles.  I HIGHLY recommend using a physical therapist for chronic injuries, if it is in your budget.  Oh, remember that I had bariatric surgery?  Well, part of that means that I can’t take anti-inflammatory medicine. Yup.  No ibuprofen for me!   And acetaminophen does nothing for my pain.  It sucks!  The only thing other than up dog that provides pain relief is ice.  My physical therapist recommended a really cool ice pack that provides a lot of relief.  “But Sarah, you said you were sitting with a heating pad on your back?”  Yes, I am.  At physical therapy this week, I pulled a supporting muscle in my back. Truly, this sucks.  So, right now, I have a bulging disc that makes it hard to stand and a pulled muscle that makes it hard to walk.  Again, let me say, this sucks!  And, my emotions are not in a good place because of it.

 

Now, I seem to have a bad flare up from one of my injuries every 9-12 months.  It messes up my training plan and my goal race.  Right now, I can only run 2 miles or less.  And, I dropped down from my goal race in April.  But, I know that I will get back to my  version of normal, it will just take some dedication to healing.

 

I know I am complaining…a lot.  Yes, I am.  Remember, this sucks.  I am tired of having an injury that limits what I can do.  I am tired of having to hold back during a workout because I’m fearful of making it worse.  I’m tired of explaining to people why I am doing a short workout.  The hardest part for me is accepting that this is my reality. Accepting that I can't always control what happens with my body.

 

One of the influencers that I following on Instagram has chronic injuries.  I am always impressed by how she pushes through even when she has her flare ups. It  took me a while to realize that my  situation is not that dissimilar from hers.  While our conditions are not the same, the impact on our lives is. So, if you are suffering from chronic injuries, I want to speak to you.  You are not alone.  It is okay to say it sucks (or more negative words if that is your preference).   It is okay to get mad.  It is okay to be angry.  But, it is not okay to hide from your truth.  Find a way to make it work.  Find a way to come to terms with it.  (And, I am speaking to myself on this as well). If it is chronic, it will never fully go away.  Instead of living in fear of it coming back.  Live in celebration of what you can do every single today.  Today you can’t go for a run?  Okay, then celebrate that you can try a walk down the road. Find something to celebrate. Focusing on negatives will only keep you in a negative mind frame.  Choose to focus on the positive each day.  You have a choice every day.  You can choose to let your chronic injury control you.  Or you can choose to control your life, even with your chronic injury.  For the past few weeks, I have let my back control my attitude and control my life. That stops today.  I get to choose how I react.  Yes, there will be pain.  Yes, there will be days that I don't want to move.  Yes, I will have frustrating moments.  I can't change that.  I can change how I react to it.

 

Back to my whining.  Yes, it still sucks.  But, I am going to focus on the positives for today.  Today I was able to accomplish 75% of my workout.  Last week, I had so much pain that I completely skipped it. I am going to embrace what I did today. I am going to embrace that I got up and went to the gym.   If you have chronic injuries, what are you going to embrace today?

How to handle pre-race nerves

Over the past week, I heard a few people say they can't believe it's less than a month until their goal Spring race.Pre-race nerves are starting to settle in for a lot of people.I feel like I have become the queen of pre-race jitters.In fact, I'm writing this at 4:22AM because I just woke up from a race nightmare.My dream was that I was running a trail ultramarathon and could not find the trail.In parts of my dream, I was actually running the course in reverse and could not figure out how to go the right way!While your nerves may not be as extreme as mine, please know that any type of nervousness you experience is COMPLETELY NORMAL.

Being the queen of pre-race jitters, I have a lot of experience getting over the nerves.  The following tips are things I use to conquer my nerves.  Feel free to try one or all of them!

The first thing I do is try to accept that the nervousness I am feeling is okay.  I know, easier said than done.  My natural tendency is to try to fight it.  "I just need another hill workout and I'll be better".  "If I ignore this feeling it will go away."  Some of the ways I work through the nerves is to journal.  I take out a piece of paper and write out everything I'm feeling.  It's my version of mental vomit.  (Sorry for the grossness of that expression) It's a way for me to get all of my feelings out of my head.  Some other ways are to meditate or go for a walk.  Do something.  Try to get your mind off of it.

The next thing I do is listen to my power songs.  What's a power song?  Do you have 4-5 songs that put you in an amazing mood?  Do you have a song that makes you want to get up and "dance it out"?  That's a power song.  It will change our mood and a bring a smile to your face.  I have a playlist specifically for my power songs.  But, here's the trick, you CAN'T listen to this playlist all the time.  Only listen to it when you absolutely need it.  Remember when the Frozen movie came out and everyone loved the song, "Let it go"?  Do you also remember how eventually everyone got tired of listening to that song?  If you listen to a song too much, it won't have the same impact on your mood…and can even put you in a bad mood.  So, create a playlist with 4-5 songs that pump you up and use it sparingly! 

Mantras.  Mantras. Mantras.  Mantras are single words or phrases that you say to yourself to control what you are thinking about.  A google search will give you lots of examples of mantras.  Find something that speaks to you.  One I saw this week was "I'm Fit. Fast. And Fierce". It doesn’t have to be long or very descriptive.  It just has to speak to you.  When I have a good mantra, I will write it down and put it everywhere!  I'll write it in dry erase marker on my bathroom mirror. I'll put it on a few sticky notes and put one on the fridge, on my car dashboard, at my work computer…everything I look at throughout the day. 

Finally, remember that you are ready for the race.  A lot of people will say that their training did not go perfectly or that they need to get some more workouts in.  Trust me, you are ready.  You got up each day and did your workout.  One of the popular phrases is that your head will give up long before your legs will.  Your legs know what to do. Trust them.  And, no one ever has a perfect training season.  Please know that you are ready.

I hope you find one or several of these items are helpful.You've got this girl!

Run/Walk 101...

I have a confession. I had my first “Team Leader Fail” on Saturday. The first thing you should know about me is that I am a rule follower. If the training plan says to run 30 minutes, I will run/walk for 15 minutes and turn around to make sure I do exactly 30 minutes. So, on Saturday, I turned around at 15 minutes and went back towards Field & Fire. (FYI - I finished in 30 minutes and 3 seconds on Saturday. Gold star for me!) When I got to the Leonard St intersection, I realized I was all by myself. While there really isn’t anything wrong with that, I should at least make sure that everyone else is okay. So, Team Leader Fail…I wasn’t checking on all of the amazing gals. When the organizer returned I told her of my “failure”. And, she energetically reminded me that everyone trains at their own pace and distance. So, while I would love to keep up with everyone in my group, my pace is a lot slower. Having said that, I think I need to provide a little Run/Walk 101 for everyone.

Run/Walk 101

The first step to do run/walk is to get yourself an interval timer. My Garmin Forerunner has the ability to set timers. Gazelle Sports (not an ad) sells several types of running watches and they can let you know which versions offer the run/walk feature. If that is not your style, there are A LOT of free apps that are available. RunKeeper is a free app that allows you to do intervals and it will beep when it is time to transition from run to walk. If you prefer something a little more basic than RunKeeper, search for either intervals or HIIT intervals. I am sure you will find an app that you can set to run/walk at specific times. Jeff Galloway (not an add) offers a run/walk timer that you can carry in your pocket or purchase a wrist strap. I believe it is available on Amazon.

The second step is going to require a little math. Look at your planned workout for the day and figure out which interval you will be in when you need to turn around. I may work in a bank, but while running all my math skills leave my body. I always seem to over calculate when I need to turn around. Figuring it out ahead of time makes it easier for me.

The third and most important step is to know that you DO NOT have to progress to a longer run interval just because it is on the schedule. If we are at the point of running for 5 minutes and you struggle or it feels overly hard, feel free to back it up. That is perfectly okay! When I started running, I think I spent over three weeks sticking at 3 minutes of running because moving past that was just too much for my body at that point. Please please please listen to your body. On the flip side, if you feel like you can run for a longer period of time, feel free to add some time to your running interval. I would recommend waiting until the last one or two intervals of a workout before increasing it…just to make sure it is not adrenaline or caffeine that is giving you the energy to keep going. :-)

Leave a comment below if you have any questions!

Update: Begin Again - How To Get Back On Track

Hello!  It's been two weeks since my last post.  I intentionally took the time off the blog to focus on getting back on track.  And, I asked that you hold me accountable.  So, what are the results?

Well, we had the worst storm that we've had in a couple years.  Historic days of cold temps and school closings.  People without power and an ice storm.  It has been anything but ordinary.  Luckily, we were not impacted as much as others. 

Even with all the extraordinary circumstances, I was able to stick to my commitment for two whole weeks.  I got 6 workouts in per week.   Even on the days when I was stuck at home, I still got at least 30 minutes of movement in.  I made it happen because that was my goal.  I did not go to sleep if I didn't get my 30 minutes in.  I also returned to the gym for classes and treadmill workouts.  I do not like all the people that go to the gym after the new year.  No offense if that is you.  Please come!  But, for me, I have social anxiety, and having to worry about what treadmill is available or having space in a class really messes with my head.  So, I just wait until some of the New Year New You people are done.  It's sad, but true.

The best part of getting back on track?  I feel like I'm in control of how I feel physically and mentally.  Even with the crazy weather, I was able to have focus and feel like I was getting closer to my own goals.

I'm excited to keep this 6 workouts a week going.  My plan is set for this week….How about you?

Begin Again - How to get back on track

habits slip.  If you haven't, congratulations!  This post is not for you.  :-)   If you are like me, you know that we are almost one full month into the year and I don't feel any "better" than I did one month ago.  My scale has moved in the right direction…but not as much as it should.  I've eaten more kale salads and but I've also had greasy fast food.   I worked out and tried new workouts.  But I didn't make anything consistent.   I took my vitamins more than I have in the last couple months.  But, I still miss a few days/week. I've made some good choices and some bad choices.  But, nothing really tipped the scales towards better health. 

 

A phrase I hear in my yoga and meditation practice is "being again".  "You can always begin again".  "If you get distracted, it's okay.  Just begin again".  I've come to loathe that phrase.  It's like fingernails on a chalkboard.  "Begin again".   Begin again?   Why do I have to start over?  So, I failed?  My reaction to this simple phrase is not because I don't agree that we can always start over.  My reaction is because I feel like it means that I failed.  I set my goals and worked to create new habits.  But, I fell short of the vision that I set for myself.  I failed.

 

What I want to say to each of you (and to myself) is that failure is not bad.  Failing is not a representation of who you are.  You (or I) are not a failure.  And failure is not permanent.  We have the ability to change. We have choices every day.  We can choose to make healthy decisions. 

 

So, how do WE get back on track and begin again?  It's simple but not easy.  Pick one thing you are going to do differently this week.  No, I don't want you to pick some monumental task.  I want you to pick something that will make you feel accomplished.  If we extended the timeframe for one month, what one task would make you feel most proud?  Personally, while I always struggle with food, lately consistent exercise has been more difficult.  So, my one task for this week is to workout 6 days this week.  That's it.  I'm not pinning it down to specific workouts. Yes, I have workout goals.  But my daily task for this week is to get a workout in, regardless of what it is.   Please hold me accountable on social media! 

What one thing are you going to do this week to get back on track? Yes, you can begin again.

How to create a habit

This time of year everyone is all about new resolutions, new year/new me, commitment and dedication.  And while I may grumble to myself about the extra people at the gym, everyone should be applauded for making a new start. 

Personally, I don't believe in resolutions.  "I resolve to….." fill in the blank with any one of the thousands of goals that you can have.  Then two weeks later you are back where you started.  Why is that?  Why do so many people start the year with good intentions but aren't able to see it through to success? 

The one word answer is habit.  Habits are part of human nature.  We all have them.  I bet you can list off at least five right now.  Mine?  Bathroom, brushing my teeth, morning snack, etc.  Habits are the missing link between prior behavior and successful resolutions or goals. 

If habits are the answer, why don't people focus on creating new habits instead of resolutions?  Habits require consistent daily effort.  They also require that you break down the resolution into feasible steps.  Breaking existing habits and creating new habits are extremely tough.  I DO NOT believe that it takes 21 days to build a habit.  If it works for you, great!  But, I have found that habits really take years to become part of our nature.  (Sorry if that amount of time seems like too much).

Do I think it is completely hopeless to try to create a new habit?  No, I do not.  I think there are ways to create a new habit…

 How to create a new habit.

  1. Pick ONE habit that you want to start.  You probably have a list of new actions that you are going to focus on this year.  But, more than one action divides your focus.  What would happen if you only focused on one specific thing?  For me, I'm focusing on taking my vitamins every single day.  It used to be a habit of mine, but I stopped doing it.  (See, 21 days is not the golden rule.)  Yes, there are a lot of things I want to do.  But, I set a goal to take all my vitamins every day.

  2. Tie the new habit to an existing habit that you have.  Our existing habits are hardwired.  If you add your new habit to end of one you are already doing, it makes it a little easier to become second nature.  For my habit, I added taking my vitamins before brushing my teeth at the end of the day.  I prefer to take my vitamins at night and I always brush my teeth at night.  Why not put them together?

  3.  Track it! If you are a list person, tracking will make your heart happy.  If you aren't a list person, tracking will give you a visual reminder of what you are working on.  You can create an easy checkbox sheet on paper.  Or you can be more creative.  For my vitamins, I track them in MyFitnessPal with my food journal.  That way when I send it to my accountability buddy, she will see if I'm taking them.

  4. Finally, keep working at it every day.  There is no standard rule that will work for everyone.  I can't say that if you do it for two months that you will do it every day for the rest of the year.  Everyone is different.  My preference is to focus one month at a time.  It is a small chunk and a lot easier to feel like you are working towards your goal. 

    You can create new habits in 2019 by focusing and working on it every day.  What habit do you want to build in 2019?  Share it in the comments!

Holiday Depression and Anxiety

This is going to be a different type of post for me.  I suffer from both depression and anxiety.  There are days that I don't want to get out of bed.  Sometimes I worry about something so much that I can't sleep at night.  I used to think that I was a burden to my family and friends.  If I told them how I was feeling, it would be a sign that I was week.  The Holidays are especially hard for me.  And, I am seeing a lot of my friends struggle as well.  I hope this post will help you if you are dealing with mental health issues.  I also hope this post will help you if you have family or friends that are dealing with mental health issues.

 

*Disclaimer* I am not a medical professional.  These are tips based on my own experiences.

 

  1. It's okay to have a bah humbug attitude.  You know that scene in the Grinch where Jim Carrey starts telling the people of Whoville that he hates them, alphabetically?  Well, I did that the other day while driving around town.  Instead of using names, I just said the make of the vehicle that was around me. “Ford Fusion, I hate you.” As odd as it sounds, it actually made me feel better.

  2. You don't have to do something just because it's tradition. Guess what?  I am not putting up a tree this year.  Gasp!  I know that sounds just plain awful.  But, I'm not feeling the holiday spirit and that is okay.  It will be okay if I don't decorate my house for the holidays.  (FYI - I do not have children)  Whatever your tradition is, it is okay if you don't do it this year.

  3. Come up with something new to do.  Maybe you decide to have your entire family where matching pajamas while hanging out at home.  Maybe you go to the movies instead to the 4th family event of the season.  It doesn't matter what it is, just try something that makes you happy.

  4. Have a plan for the moments that will give you anxiety.  I know what situations will cause issues for me.  For me, staying at some events will cause a lot of anxiety.  So, we set a time limit and make our excuses to leave.  Or, I will also plan an activity I love afterwards to help ease the feeling.  (Thank you Starbucks for being open late)

  5. Don't forget to make time for your friends.  I have a girls night every couple of weeks.  We go to a local Mexican restaurant for tacos and margaritas.  It's a great way to decompress and get away from life's pressures. Afterwards, I always feel better.

  6. This wouldn't be a blog about wellness and fitness if I didn't mention getting some exercise.  Use your accountability buddy.  Try something in the snow, if you have any.  Hello snowshoes!  It's amazing what a little sweat will do for your attitude.

  7. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone you love.  Let them know how you are feeling!

 

I hope one of these tips help you…even if only a little bit!

 -Sarah

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Holiday Stress

Honesty.  I am struggling.  Life is stressful.  Work is stressful.  I'm tired.  I'm hungry.  There aren't enough hours in the day.  I don't want to exercise.  I don't want to take the time to meal prep or even plan a healthy meal.  I don't want to make dinner.  I don't want to be social.  My holiday to do list is getting longer.  I haven't started my gift shopping.  I just don't want to.  It's not worth it. Can you relate to any of these statements?  (Or all of them?)  Sister, I say every single statement in my head multiple times a day lately.  So, you are not alone if you have any (or all) of these feelings. 

 

It's the holidays.  And, I know you can hear the opening line of this song in your head…  "It's the most wonderful time of the year".  I won't add any more.  You are welcome for that earworm.  That song is also playing on repeat in my head.  I'm supposed to be grateful.  I'm supposed to be excited about the holidays.  I'm supposed to "want" to do all the things.  But, you know what?  I don't. 

 

I am officially the Grinch…(The beginning of the movie version)  "Max!  Fetch me my sedative."  My daily life does not make me want to celebrate the holidays.  And, my reaction to this stress is not good.  Okay, it's awful!  Can you relate?  I make VERY bad food choices.  I drink adult beverages  (okay, wine) A LOT.  I only exercise when I feel like it…and that is hardly at all.  I'm letting my feelings about what is going on in my life control how I handle my life.Have you been in my shoes?  Does any of this sound familiar?  I keep telling myself that every moment is another opportunity to make the right choice and correct this downward spiral.  I started to work on my goals for 2019…something that I always enjoy.  But, I keep reverting back to this negative funk. 

 

If you are still with me, I am sure you think this post is way to negative for me.  And I would agree.  I don't like putting this type of negative feelings out in the universe.  But, I have a point for it.

 

My point is that we all go through tough times.  What is tough for me may seem like a day at the park for you.  (Side note - Don’t judge or compare someone's tough times)  We ALL experience things that distract us for our goals.  And, the holiday season can make tough moments seem almost too much.   

 

So, what can we do when we are in the downward spiral?  If your first thought was to meal plan or eat a healthy meal, you are wrong!  Bahahaha (evil laugh)  Yes, eating a healthy meal or planning a healthy meal can put you on the right path.  But, it won't change your mood immediately.  The one way to change your mood is to exercise.  (Insert dramatic music)  I know this reads like I'm being flippant.  "Sarah, didn't you say earlier you didn't want to exercise?"  Yes, I did.  But, what I know is this.  I never regret working out.  I never regret taking 30 minutes for myself.  I may not want to do it.  I may make a million excuses on why I shouldn't do it. I make try to make myself extra busy so I won't have time to do it.  But, I never regret it.  Getting your heart rate up for 30 minutes is the only way I know to immediately change your mood.  Now, will you experience the euphoric runners high?  Will you finish the workout and exclaim that you feel better than you did 2 years ago?  Get real, not gonna happen for most people.  But, you will "feel" better.  And that slight boost may help you get through the next moments of stress. 

 

Here's my ask of you.  The next time you are feeling stressed or in a funk, please get up and take a walk or go to a yoga class.  Do something to get your heart rate up.  (I'm also speaking to myself here)  You can't change your mood unless you do something different than what you are doing right now.

 

Leave a comment if you can relate…