A couple years ago, a friend introduced me to some documentaries on Netflix about these fitness games from the past few years. I was hooked from the first one. It is the Fittest On Earth movies about the CrossFit games. Before watching these movies I did not know much of anything about CrossFit or the CrossFit games. I assumed it was something like the Spartan Races with people pushing themselves in crazy obstacles all to get fit. I found the documentaries to be inspiring. These athletes were pushing their bodies beyond anything that I could understand. They were disciplined. They worked hard to achieve superior results. They were my vision of what it meant to be an athlete. All the things I love. I was intrigued. These people were strong and fit. And, I wanted to be just like them.

It took me a couple years to work up the courage. But, in August of 2019 I finally decided to try a class. I contacted the local CrossFit gym and made a commitment to attend my first class. I was SOOOOO incredibly nervous. Luckily, I decided to make their foundations (elements) class my first since I did not feel I was ready to even sample a full class. It was a small group of 4-8 people learning the movements and then completing a workout. In the foundations class all the people are new…so I wasn't the only one that was nervous. I was hooked. We learned movements like the deadlift, squat and power clean. Because I was new to CrossFit, I had to take 8 elements classes before moving to a full standard class. There were a lot of movements that we hard for me. Hello Wall Balls! And movements that made my body jiggle more than I was comfortable with. Dang you Burpees! But, even with some work travel in my schedule, I kept going. It took me a while to get all 8 classes in. But, I did it! Was it easy? No, it was definitely hard work. But, was it something I couldn't do? Absolutely not. The coaches helped to modify movements and workouts based on my physical abilities. They never made me feel like I was less than anyone else because I couldn't do something.

I graduated from elements in September. But, that was when my back issue decided to take control of my life. Wanting to play it safe, I backed off of CrossFit until I felt more comfortable. Here's the thing, as with my article about depression, I became frightened by CrossFit…more so than I think I normally would be. I was terrified that my lack of knowledge of a movement would cause bad form which would make my back injury worse. Was any of this true? No. But, my brain believed it was.

As I started to feel better and my back returned to a more even level of pain my trainer recommended that I try more Olympic Lifting style of movements to help strengthen my spine. So, I tried one of they Olympic Lifting classes at the CrossFit gym. Now, to say I was awe-inspired would be a huge understatement. These were normal every day people doing amazing power cleans. Their form was beautiful and the weight was impressive. At first I was intimidated with my junior barbell and really small baby plates. But as people got into their own workout groove, I realized no one was watching me. They were all focused on their own goals.

Now, I know that I normally jump feet first into things that I am uncomfortable with. I like the sense of accomplishment when I am done. With CrossFit, I will say that I am still terrified every time I go. I'm my own worse critic. I know that I will probably be the slowest one there and that I will lift the least amount of weight. What I have to remind myself is that it is not about comparing myself to others. The only person that I'm competing against is me. And, if I am last, so what? If I have to modify a movement, so what? If I can't complete a workout in the time limit, so what? I am doing this for me and no one else.

So, today, Monday January 20, 2020, the skill is deadlifts…which I LOVE! The workout is 7 minutes of burpees…which I hate. It is a movement that makes me feel incredibly out of shape…even though I'm not. But, I will go to the class today even though I am scared of the workout…because I am doing this for me and I want to be stronger.